I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I feel great
I just peed on a car
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
