ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
