Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
