I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
