I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just googled if crying burns calories
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
