Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
