He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
