Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
How naked do you want me to be?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
