we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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