The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
