Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
