I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
