You can't motorboat a personality
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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