Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
