TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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