So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
