if only i could text you this smell
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
ttyl tear gas
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
