We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
