Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
