I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
