Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
