i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
