He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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