I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
