I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
