i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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