Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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