Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
