is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
