i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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