I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
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