I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
