He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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