OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
