I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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