i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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