Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
