ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
