I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
