But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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