is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
