Non-Jews are for practice
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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