Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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