I must be too annoying 4 u.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
