The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
