I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I think I sprained my soul last night
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
