He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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