i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
