Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
