the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
