i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Little spoons don't ask big questions
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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