Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
