Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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