Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
