Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
