yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
